Friday, 1 February 2008

Argghh - what is it with hairdressers?!

Despite my best efforts at communication, I've been scalped by a salon and put through a strange series of dye pots.

I must confess that I really do hate going to the hairdressers - I consider it worse (and far more traumatic) than going to the dentist.

Actually, I like my dentist, old enough to be my father, nose and ear hair and all - he's just one of the loveliest men on earth. Whereas hairdressers? They just ignore me and leave me beached on the desert island of bad cuts and hair colours that do not suit me...

...without any music, knitting or even a book to read.

What sort of makes it worse, is that when I got taken to a proper hairdressers as a child, it was such a treat - a real haircut. I still carry that feeling of excitement and hope with me to the hairdressers each time I go. It is just so cruel when it is dashed against the cruel snip of scissors and rattle of tin foil.

You know me by now right? I am not complicated. I'm casual about my hair - it is scraped back for everyday, then worn down and straightened for social occasions, usually containing a bit of lighter colour to stop the hair on my head resembling a cowpat, like so:

Very simple - very straightforward. So WHY, especially with my input (gained from years of bitter experience) would a hairdresser go ahead and do this to me?

Black, dark auburn and a few stripes of a very light, vivid red.

I'm not sure whether the atrocity that now adorns my head is just BIG HAIR or bad hair. I guess that I need to put my head in a bucket and then see how (if) it calms down over the weekend?

What I do know is that I have been given a hairstyle that I will never be able to achieve on my own, even if I wanted to. Actually, that is lucky as I-do-not-want-to-look-like-this-again.

I know my own hair - it kinks and frizzes. So I know that it is going to do its very own bad hair thing all on its own, every day - from now until this thing on my head grows out.

The hairdresser used one of those big cylinder brushes. I have to confess that I gulped when I saw that come out (as I prefer my hair flat and straighened) but I thought (as I'd flinched at the colour when the towel came off) that I'd better see what 'her vision' of the overall effect was.

Truth be told, I may even wail a bit tonight. Then, if I cannot shift my woebegone, upset aspect by Monday, then I will have to call the salon and see if they can put the worst bit of it right for me.

The worst bit?

Well, that will be the very light, vivid reddish blonde blob, right at the front of my head - right against my scalp/hairline.

You cannot see it in the first photo because the hairdresser carefully blow dried the darker layer of hair over it.

In terms of the colour, I think that my comment when the towel came off was (in horror), "That bit at the front is very bright light red, isn't it?"

Apart from it just looking very strange, the regrowth is going to look absolutely foul within about 3 weeks?

Now apparently, I should sweep the 'half fringe' I have been given right across my face, particularly if I am going out glam and socialising?

Apparently this light ginger-blonde is supposed to 'show through' the darker over-fringe bit?

I am not convinced. I don't get to be glam and socialise much. Also, this evening, I twice almost walked into oncoming pedestrians and a road sign, walking across Waterloo Bridge because I could not see them through the glamourous half fringe (not kidding) plus...

...who the flippity flip, gives a floppedy, flying duck about blow drying a sodding overfringe at 6am? I defy you to do it - I defy you to care on a work day, let alone on a rare going out occurance.

Me: shower, wash hair, out shower, scrape back hair, apply scrunchie, dress and go.

Ok, this is my hair after I have used straighteners on it, to kill the big hair and see what the cut is really like.

Before you ask:

- yes, I did ask the lady not to give me any short layers. So why do I see short bits and a whole section of hair missing on one side?

I forecast in-home hair styling disaster.

- yes, I did tell the lady that my hair was far too long (down to my bra strap, as a colleague informed me today). In fact, I don't mind the new, overall shoulder length of it but...what the hell did she do to the front?

- yes, I did tell the lady that I wanted a half head of highlights. Yes, we discussed the fact that the colour on my head was not great, being 50% bleach and 50% tomato sauce stripes with a good 3" or so of roots and yes, I agreed that a semi permanent to tone down the sections of hair in between the foils might be a good idea to make the contrast between the bleach-3" roots look less obvious. The hairdesser described the colours that she was going to apply, as warmer. I thought that would be okay, thinking golds and light browns, as bleach is too stark on my hair. Um, so where did I sign up for black, dark auburn and bright, vivid, light red...?!

Am I alone here? Does anyone else struggle with making themselves understood to hairdressers?

They seem to ignore me (with a canny instinct of knowing that I am too embarassed to make a fuss before leaving the shop) or they think that they know better, what is better for me.

Despite the fact that I have lived with this particular head, and its diabolical hair disasters, for 37 years.

I just hope that my fella will still think me pretty on Valentines Day, despite looking like a hair model fashion victim....sigh.

Edited to add: what is considered a decent brand of hair straighteners in Canada?! My UK ones don't work as they require all 220 volts to operate (I have discovered).


Anonymous said...

I am. so. sorry. I feel so bad for you. That is nothing like what you wanted. You just wanted a slight trim to the length, no feathering, no facial layering. And you wanted to warm your color, not darken and then streak it. Aiyee! I would go demand my money back and a fix.

Dotty said...

I'm so sorry that you don't like your hair.

You should go back and demand that at least the colour be fixed. As for the fringe that you didn't want, maybe it's time to invest in some small hair clips to go with your hair scrunchies.

I'm sure B will fine with your new hair. After all, you're still you.

Shannon said...

Oh no! That's awful that they gave you a cut and colour so different to what you asked for! I struggled to find a good stylist here in Oxford and I'm sad I'll be moving so far away that I'll have to start the process over again.

What I love about the place I go to is that they ask you how you style and wear your hair so they can give you a cut appropriate for you and one that flatters. Of course when I leave they've got it all blown out and what not, but it's fine when I wash and wear like I do. I had hair about your length until last Sept and went in and said "I want to cut it off - what do you think would flatter?" And she did it!

I read a review that someone comes up from London to get their hair cut at the place 'cause it's so good and reasonable (£40 for a cut by a senior stylist). Anyway for you to get it re-styled??? You can come up to Oxford and we can go eat cake and knit. =)

And I'm sure your fella will still think you are pretty.

yogicknitter said...

I know what you mean about the big brush thing the minute they appear with that weapon of choice you know your chance of ever getting anything to look similar is doomed. Doomed I say.

Brian said...

I know it's just not 'her'. For my 2 cents worth, G's hair is a part of her, and not vice versa, and this cut needs some slight changes to fit in with her busy lifestyle. After all, she has projects on the go, and she just doesn't need to be a slave to her hair.

Robynn said...

Sweetie, as I said I think the colour will be all right when it fades (reds fade really quickly) and softens a bit, but the cut? Aieee.

Whatever you do about this one, next time go to Hayley at Jigami in Soho. I have never been so devoted to a stylist. She actually listens to what I want (even though what I want is really boring, low-maintenance stuff - like you!) and delivers. She makes me look great. Hell, she makes Armin look great! We love Hayley!

Roobeedoo said...

Well at least it's still long enough to tie back...? Have you seen Woolly Wormhead's new book of hat patterns?
Sorry, G! This will be why I haven't had a haircut in over 2 years - its just too scary!
Essensuals in South Woodford never let me down, but I am VERY scared of the local hairdressers up here: skunk is THE look!

Rabbitch said...

Would pictures of my horrid poodle perm make you feel any better? I'm sorry I don't have any shots of the even worse things I've done to my head.

Hair grows back and colour fades. I can see how that's not quite "you" though.

Would you like me to fly over with my pointy sticks and commit some stabbery? I haven't seen London in such a long time ...

Elizabeth said...

Go see Stuart Mason at Toni&Guy in Bury St Edmunds, 01284-717171! I trusted him, on the advice of a colleague, to convert my hair from past-waist-length to just over chin-length, he listens, he discusses, and I fly up from France every 6 to 9 months for a re-shape. I went through the same horror with a cut here, where both the cutter and I agreed a fringe would be bad. What did I walk out with??? you got it. Stuart couldn't believe it, but he set it right a couple months later. Good luck!