Tuesday, 21 August 2007

A Peculiar List and the Phyllo-Yoked Pullover

The Peculiar List:
  • 17 pairs of casual trousers, including jeans

  • 11 pairs of work trousers

  • 9 work skirts

  • 4 dresses

  • 3 jackets

  • 13 work/going out tops

  • 4 jumpers

  • 37 t-shirts (vest, short & long sleeved)

Oh, there are about 8 skirts, 2 dresses, a top and 5 pairs of trousers on my 'at risk' register too.

What is this list? Well, I do not like to make a big thing of my weight or the weight loss programme that I have been following this year as my blog is supposed to be about my knitting, not me. Weight and dieting seem to be quite contentious in blogland. I have seen some very supportive sites, read some people's accounts of their efforts to control their weight, or come to terms with it. I have also seen some horrendous, cruel comments left by people as well. I had no intention of opening myself up to that kind of attack and anyway, my weight and my size is a very personal matter - it is for me to decide what size and weight I comfortable being and act accordingly.

So what is this list? It is the catalogue of items that are now two sizes+ bigger than my current size that I packed into black binliners this evening. I need to think through how best to dispose of them: charity shop, carboot sale, recycle centre?

I reached the point where I open my wardrobe and found myself unable to find anything to wear, even though the blooming thing appears to burst at the seams with clothing!

So my friend and ex-colleague Carol (Landscape Scarf gift recipient) came over on Sunday to be firm with me. The objective: to put a spoke in the wheel of my previous weight loss-gain cycle.

I have always joked about having a wardrobe divided into three: Thin / Medium / Fat - I am fairly sure that I am not alone here?! Usually, I just cycle through the sizes - when I get too big for one size, I sigh and pull on the next size up.

This time, the plan is to vanish the Fat end of my clothing completely, keep the Medium while I work on the last bit I need to lose to reach my goal weight, then work out what size my body settles into and prune again, as necessary.

Okay, I confess, I broke my diet on Sunday, as Carol and I slugged back a fair bit of prosecco in the process of trawling through my wardrobe which, as it turned out, harboured a number of crimes against fashion that had Carol clutching her sides with mirth..!

"What's that?!" she shrieked as she caught sight of my splendidly dire and dated brown suede tassle jacket from the mid eighties (acquired with pride on the Kings Road, no less).

I was allowed to retain that as a slice of fashion history but some of my less notable (often sales mistakes) were treated less kindly. Sometimes, all it took was a quirk of the eyebrow for me to add to the reject pile.

You see, the other part of the prune objective was, "Okay, it might fit you again...but what year were you last this size?!"

As we discovered, I still have clothes that date back to my teens - so if I wear them now, will people bleat, "Mutton, mutton," quietly at me as I pass them on the street?!

You know, it hurt to let some of those items go - yet what are the chances of me EVER wearing a tight, sheer, stretchy silver metalic t-shirt again? Oh, some memories of good times disappeared into the reject pile on Sunday evening!

Also, are Capri trousers from 2000, still getawayable with in 2007? (The answer was an emphatic no, by the way. It seems that in 2000, we all wore trousers in the same way as Simon Cowell - a bit high!)

By the end of the process, Carol declared that I must not be allowed out to shop for clothes on my own ever again - as 96% of my wardrobe seems to be black - with the odd flash of something very bright, metallic, shiny or patterned or see through (or all of that together) thrown in. I suspect that Carol thinks that I have absolutely no style...opps!

So how does this link to anything knitting related? Well, my poor phyllo yoked pullover is languishing, neglected in my Namaste Messenger bag - its current home. It is done, all the way up to the lace yoke but I got distracted by the baby ballerina wrap and stopped working on it.

As I have lost weight, I have lost all motivation to finish it - that is, unless I want to knit it straight off my needles and into a black bin liner.

I started knitting it at chest size 48", now I am knitting the shaped lace tee in chest size 38".

Don't get me wrong - I am delighted to be within sight of my recommended B.M.I - however, I do feel awful about the phyllo, as it is probably the closest I have ever got to finishing a full sized garment for myself. This being the case, I am not quite ready to frog it and, although the Calmer is great to work with, I have to say that I cannot face ripping it out and reknitting it in a smaller size.

I have thought about this (blogged about it in fact) but I don't particularly want to finish it, just to give it away either. I think that whoever I gave it to, would know that it was not knitted specifically for them and that it's being passed on because I am lucky enough to be a bit smaller than usual for me, right now.

No one wants a gift from a friend that says, "I thought of you when I finished this, as I think that you might be a bit chubbier than me?" Even if they did not think that, I would worry that they would think that.

So it seems that I need to add the Phyllo-Yoked Pullover to my general Fat clothes quandry.

Not sure how comfortable I will feel, posting these here - they may stick or I may pull them within minutes/hours!

I was a bit camera shy earlier this year. However I think this snap of me attempting to dive out of the frame should be enough for you to see how my weight had maxed out.

This other snippet is me a couple of weeks ago. The difference between the two photos is about 57 lbs? At last weigh-in, I had another 18lbs left to go. I am trying to remain focused but it is tough going.

Then, once it is off, the next challenge? Keep it off. Forever.

After all - I like being able to knit smaller garment sizes: fewer stitches, less outlay for yarn and overall, less work - gosh, it makes all sorts of things seem more achievable!


Kelli said...

I wish that I had your fortitude. I would love to lose the 40 pounds I've put on during my years at college.

You look amazing. :)

Roobeedoo said...

Wow! Well done! That sounds like a really good Trinny and Suzannah session! I recommend Ebay if there are any branded goods in your bin bags. A good photo,a good description and a brand name all work wonders - and the income will pay for replacements in new svelte sizes!

Gabrielle said...

Thank you! Hmm ebay, hadn't thought of that...actually, there are a few suits I only bought last autumn to start my new job and barely wore as I accelerated in size and outgrew them - it's been too warm to wear them on the way down.

Else - I'll wait until one of my friend gets back from holiday. She is an avid car boot person (frankly, they fill me with dread and fear) to see whether she'd be prepared to flog any of it for me! The rest: charity shop or recycle centre, I think.