A Red, Red Rose

In a classic twist of fate, I was working at home on Friday when B sent flowers to my office.

I am in the second half of my thirties and I think that this is the third time in my life that I have received flowers at work?

So when I say that it's not often that I get the chance to bask in the glory of receiving flowers at work, I do mean it!

It worked out very well though. It seems that in my absence, these flowers spent time on the desk of every woman who works in my immediate vicinity - so B cheered up a lot of Fridays, not just mine.


So how comes I have photos on my blog? I arranged to collect them at Waterloo Station, from one of my colleagues on her way home.

I am glad that I did, even though I had that weird moment in the train station when she had gone and I was stood there like a muppet (being bumped by hoards of commuters, all racing to get trains home), while I admired and smelt my flowers.

I have to be nauseatingly honest. I was thinking,

'You know that you are with the right person when...

'...and how did he know that this pick-me-up was just what I needed, just right now?'

Of course, the answer to my question, is probably answered by my very first thought on seeing my flowers, rendering the rest of this blog post utterly superfluous.

According to this website, my partner lives approximately 4727 miles away (9.5-10.5 hours as the plane flies). It's actually Sunday morning here and I am tucked up in bed with my morning mug of coffee, my laptop and my knitting. I am sober, about to get up and head off to the swimming pool.

His day is 8 hours behind mine. I just skyped to see if he was still up. He was - he spent Saturday having 'a boys day out' (a very loose description applied to two men in their late 40s) with his best buddy and now they are at home, in the process of putting away a serious quantity of alcohol. They are not sober.

It's one of the difficulties of very long distance relationships - it's not just the miles that separate us, it is also the 8 timezones.

So when I am about to go to bed at the end of my day, tired, inarticulate and/or tipsy and/or I want to discuss couple stuff, it is mid afternoon for him, he is usually at work and not in a position to talk openly.

Vice versa when he wakes up and I am in the office, in the middle of my day.

If I wake up very early, I might catch him before he goes to bed. This is when he might want to chat but I am focused on catching my train into work, having some breakfast and getting a big mug of coffee from somewhere.

It is not easy to find time when our heads are synchronised and we can talk without one or other of us being at work, only just awake or very tired.


I do get to 'see' him via Skype most weekends but neither of us can (or should) put our lives on hold, so it is not always possible for us to 'meet' at a good compromise time of day.

To be honest, a video-call is not any kind of substitute for real time together either - life is best experienced in three dimensions.

I am not complaining, I am just explaining the challenge. In fact, the distance we live apart was pivotal to the original decision to remain friends when we first met back in July 2006. (We met through our sport.)

As our friendship has now developed into a relationship and we have decided to become a couple, we have to accept the challenge presented by the distance that we live apart (at least until we have decided what we do next).

It is interesting - this whole long distance experience has highlighted to me, just how my mindset and emotional needs alter throughout the day.

Actually, not just during the day but also across the week. I appreciate that it is the same for my partner too.

I think that it takes a decent level of awareness from us both to avoid the traps set by busy lives plus the fact that our time zones, bodyclocks and mindsets rarely coincide.

It is not hard work, it is just a fact of our relationship. I am sure that couples who live in the same timezone and even in the same city, street or house have an equal or different set of challenges to manage.

What does any of this have to do with flowers?

Well, bearing in mind the above, it's been two weeks since I saw my fella and it'll be another two until I see him again. I hate the midpoint between visits. It's a bit like Wednesdays - two days since the weekend and two days until your next weekend. It feels like an age since I saw him and I need to wait the same duration before I see him again.

As a result, I have been feeling a little bit flat.

Luckily enough, I happen to be seeing a man who understands me well enough to realise that flowers, which I love, delivered right at this moment, are the perfect boost to propel me positively through week 3.

It would be wrong of me to lay claim, on his behalf, to any of the sentiment stated in Robert Burn's 'A red, red rose'. Even though it is tempting. After all, these roses are very red and a return trip for us to see each other does almost add up to 10,000 miles!

I am simply going to get up, go look at my beautiful, scented roses for a bit and think about the man who sent them to me, to let me know how wonderful he thinks I am - it's not necessarily a bad way to spend some time on a Sunday?

Even though, the man in question has probably had so much to drink by now that he is currently passed out in bed. We-ll, it is his Saturday night, after all?!