The World Does Not Make Sense

A friend I have known for many years is no longer here - he appears to have removed himself from this life in a very definite manner. I am upset and I feel extremely sad about his lonely, quietly planned exit.

I do not know what prompted him to feel that there was no no other way forwards but somehow what he has done is entirely at odds with my knowledge/memories of him and his character. It is my hope that his inquest will clarify what pushed him to it.

I cannot fathom that I will not see him again, nor hear his voice, nor open an envelope and see his amazing handwriting, nor joke with him that he and my father were twins separated at birth.

Once I am past the shock, I am just going to miss him terribly.

A Landscaped Tale of Underembellishment

Is that even a word? It is now!

Some time ago I blocked my Landscape Scarf. I loved the way that its colours transitioned quietly into one another but I was worried about it - it was a bit short, very plain and it had a definite, front and back.

It was intended as a present for a colleague, who as it happens, is pretty damn cool and straight talking. If she didn't like it, I suspected that I would know.

Actually, she is one of those people who does not take any nonsense from anyone - I admire that.

In my infinite wisdom, I decided that the scarf wasn't happening enough for her, so I decided to embellish it with velvet ribbon and beads.

I got my colleague to pick out the beads for it on the pretext that I needed her 'to help me look for beads for a birthday present I am making my sister'.

However, when I got home, I looked at the beads and the ribbon.

I looked at the scarf.

I practiced laying out the beads and the ribbon onto the scarf - I simply could not find something that worked.

So I put it to one side on the basis that there was no deadline so I could wait until inspiration hit me between the eyes. You see, this was a present to thank my colleague for being so kind to me when I first started my new job and we sat together.

She often wears browns and had admired the scarf I knitted my brother in the same colourway, so I resolved to knit her one too - however, as it was Spring - it wasn't an urgent knit!

That is, until last week. Three weeks ago my colleague, handed in her notice to move onto a new job. Suddenly she was leaving. Suddenly, I needed to finish the scarf.

In a panic, I took the beads, ribbon and scarf around to my partner in knitting crime, Mel. She was polite, admired the components but queried why I was thinking of embellishing it - surely it was alright as a simple scarf?

"It's just not funky enough!" I wailed. "Please look at all of these bits and pieces again, how can I make it work?"

Mel wisely said nothing more and went to put some coffee on while I sat and scratched my head with a knitting needle. I took the components home with the problem unsolved.

I later spent a further three hours pinning, arranging ribbon and beads in various ways all over the scarf.

In the end I gave up, having convinced myself that the scarf was a lifeless thing that my colleague would hate. By this time, it was about 1am and my colleague was leaving later that day.

I quietly folded the scarf, wrapped it in tissue paper and used the beads to embellish the parcel instead!

Sorry that these pictures are not the best...it was late at night!

I shlepped bone tired into work that morning and handed over my present, packaged with some other bits and pieces - then I begged a camera from another collegue so that I could get a photo of my colleague in her scarf for my project records.

Okay, now look at this!

The moral of the story is that if you lucky enough to have a friend or colleague who is this cool, then nothing you give them requires embellishment.

Hand on heart, my colleague opened the package, flipped the scarf on just like so in the office and said, "No one's ever made anything for me before. [That comment alone made every minute of the making worthwhile] - right, where would you like the photo?"

"How about outside?"

My colleague sailed out of the office, leaving me trailing in her wake - scarf perched just as it is in the pictures.

Naturally, she was oblivious to the background drama and completely unaware of the fact that when she put her scarf on, it completely brought it to life, as simple as it is. So yes, Mel, you were right - it didn't need anything!

PS. Afterwards my colleague made me rewrap her present exactly as I had first time around, so that she could take it home intact- somehow, I suspect that it will stay firmly wrapped until the weather turns in the autumn.

The Official Book Swap - Volume 1

Chelsey has had an excellent idea...

...click here to find out more and join in!

I found it very hard to come up with a favourite...so I went for a very very very old book that I read a long long long long time ago (because it gives me a chance to read it again). Apologies in advance if you end up with me and wonder what on earth I have sent you (and why).

Um, Chelsey...are we are allowed to include anything knitterly at all in our swap...? Or send audiobooks for knitters who cannot read and knit at the same time (me, for example!). I keep seeing all those secret pal photos on blogs and I am a bit envious!

Tagged Again!

With thanks to Roobeedoo!

4 jobs I have had in my life:

• Co. 1: Office job 1 (summer job to kill off student debts)
• Co. 1: Office job 2 (4 years, flying by the seat of my pants)
• Co. 2: Office job 3 (10 years, gaining seniority quietly)
• Co. 3: Office job 4 (9 months, gathering moss)

What? I should be more specific?! Actually, I thought long and hard about what to share and when I reflected on my professional life, it was clear that I have not done any particularly unusual jobs. This made me feel quite uninteresting - an ordinary Josephine.

So I thought about my life in general and realised that (despite the amount of time I spend at work) my friends, my interests and social life are all based on the things that I enjoy and do outside the office! Surely that is not such a bad a place to be?

4 films I can watch again and again:

• Sliding Doors
• Simply Ballroom
• Bed of Roses
• Leon

I am not sure how committed I am to this list - I am not sure that it really represents my film tastes at all! These are just the titles that jumped out at me when I opened a cupboard - you see, the problem is that once I’ve seen a film (even if I loved it) I rarely want to see it again.

4 places I have lived:

• England
• Scotland
• Wales
• Italy

My parents moved house almost as regularly as other people’s families went on package tour holidays (itchy feet - following their ideals and their hearts, rather than their jobs) so I moved about quite a bit when I was growing up - usually from one end of the country to the other, both urban and rural. Off the top of my head, I think that I lived in 11 different houses before I left home. Italy is the odd location out - I spent a year studying in Italy when I was 17.

4 TV series I watch:

• Heroes
• CSI Las Vegas
• CSI Miami
• Life on Mars

Look at that list: complete Candy Floss TV consumption! Nothing highbrow in that little lot! Actually, I only watch one hour of TV a week at the moment: Heroes. I am on a diet and it seems to me that every other advert is a food advert - it’s torture! I’d rather knit and listen to music or an audio book (very pleased to read that I am not alone - Dee does the same)!

4 places I have been on holiday:

• England
• Wales
• France
• Italy

You are unlikely to stumble across me on a beach, unless I am exploring rockpools and looking for fossils! I am no good at 'veg on beach with a book' holidays as I get restless, easily burnt and my brain cannot cope with the idea of lying about somewhere, doing nothing - or doing things that I could do on a wet weekend at home! No, I want to be off exploring and investigating. So - if someone tells you that I have gone abroad on holiday - look for me in the ruins, art galleries or even better, in the mountains - skiing. I'm not good at it, I do not get to go every year but I absolutely love it!

4 things I do every time I am on the Net:

• Check email
• Read favourite blogs (Please update regularly - my lunchtimes are dull!)
• Google or Ask for inspiration, patterns and information on techniques
• Resist stash, tools and accessories enhancement

Isn't this what we all do?! Mind you, I sucumbed to temptation this evening - I have given in to the allure of a cheap swift and a standard ball winder - just on the basis that if the worst comes to the worst and my purchases are a mistake - I can eBay them!

4 things I would NOT eat for anything in the world:

• Any fauna still alive, moving or generally, unacceptably raw
• [Insert collective noun for offal and sweetbreads] I'm not eating anything's brains, innards or nads. Sorry.
• [Insert collective noun for sweet things that are spread on bread] e.g. jam (jelly), marmalade or lemon curd *dry heave*
• Any non-food stuffs

Any argument with any of that?!

4 places I would love to be right now:
Everything I wrote was unutterably naff - so I am going to spare you 'the wince'!

4 people I tag, if they have not been tagged already:

• Toni
• Mel
• TeeWeeWonders
• Chelsey

However, if you would like to join in - please leave a comment and go right ahead!

Finished Knitting!

I have finished knitting the baby ballerina wrap. As I type, the pieces are laid out on my ironing board drying (it has donned its black bin liner again) all spritzed and neatly pinned.

At least, as neatly pinned as I could manage.

Here are some of the photos. I have decided that I like blocking - there is something much calmer, more gentle and controlled about spritzing, pinning into shape and allowing to dry, than ironing something to death through a damp tea towel and hoping that you cannot smell burning.

Nggg!

There are times when only an inarticulate noise can really sum up how I feel. You see, technically, I have made progress. Technically, I can confirm that my baby ballerina wrap has a back, two sleeves and 1.75 fronts. Technically, I am almost finished.

Except I am not - almost finished, that is.

What did I say about not knitting or thinking through design alterations when tired?! Those moments when I very carefully and deliberately make decisions that in retrospect are, in all frank honesty, really quite stupid.

Like not noticing (until after I had cast off one front) that I'd started the heart pattern two rows earlier than I did on the back - and it shows.


Fizzle! There goes a week's worth of train knitting in one little, damp squib pop!

Like not putting a buttonhole in where I planned one (twice, actually - on both fronts) because I persuaded myself that I wouldn't find the buttons I wanted, so I told myself to compromise and knit up some i-cord.

Then I found...great buttons. In John Lewis.

Oh ho...do you hear that?!

Pop! Another little damp fizz-pop, as the knitting done in front of Harry Potter last Sunday evening (three quarters of the second front) must vanish into thin air, so that I can increase the size of the button band and add a buttonhole.

Sigh...at this rate, this child will be too big for the wrap by the time that I have finished it!

Yet I c-a-n-n-o-t help it - I want my decision to alter the design to work out.

I want this top to look the way I planned it at the very start. Uh oh, does that make me a perfectionist? Or just very stubborn?!

So my apologies gift recipient: you will have to wait a little bit longer. I need to bite the bullet and start ripping!

But surely they would be a bit um, sweaty?!

I know, I know, I know...

...I really shouldn't post in the middle of the night when I have had too much to drink! Let me clean this post up...

...okay, I went into Borders on Monday afternoon to cheer myself up because the weather was so dire. It was also after buying some great buttons for the ballerina top in John Lewis that mean I have to reknit both front halves of the wrap again, don't ask...will explain in another post!

So elated yet discouraged, I ambled up to Crafts, where I plonked myself down, cross legged on the floor - a woman of almost 37, in a raincoat - I know, odd - and started to look through books.

Actually, the first one that I picked up, I remarked to a lady standing beside me, 'Oh good grief...knitted lingerie, WHY?!'

I put it back on the shelf.

So then I did the bookshelf rounds of Vogue Ultimate Knitting, various Stitchonaries, knitting bibles, designers (Erika Knight, Debbie Bliss, Jean Moss, the one who does a lot of bags) etc. in my search for:

• a clear handbook that will help me get started on proper garment pattern creation, sizing up-down and all associated knitting techniques (really, I think I need to do a course: one like this and finishing techniques! Your recommendations please!)
  


• something classic, simple, tailored cardigan for my Jaeger cream silk that I am failing to find elsewhere
  


• summer things - as it is that time of year

In my search, I identified three potential books:

• Vogue Ultimate Knitting
  


• Erika Knight: Classic Knits. Not very exciting but some nice patterns. I could live with my silk cardigan being like the deep V-neck jumper on its cover!
  


• Fitted Knits.

Are these any good, or should I consider something else?!

However, I assumed that Amazon could deliver at a lower price so made to leave, research done. Just beforehand though - I picked up the lingerie book again, just so that I could leave on a cackle high of 'Why why why - just who would want to knit and wear lingerie?!'

The very thought of knitted underwear...well, surely that would just lead to...um, how to put it gracefully?! Itchy, sweatiness?! Also, I cannot see my gravity locked knockers being held up adequately by a layer of either knit or purl - surely the ease in stocking stitch fabric would leave me balancing them on my knees?!'

However, as I flicked through its pages, I started to look beyond the bras and pants. Hmm, some good summer tops and other garments in here.

Oh, it's by the same publishing company and uses the same photographer as Knitting Nature. I look at its title again: Knitting Lingerie Style. Hmm...

...how much? £15.95 - okay, away home to browse Amazon.

However, it is new, so it is not yet discounted. I felt foiled! Well, that book has haunted me since Monday. (Yes I know that it is only Wednesday but a woman can get her knickers in a twist in less time, surely?!)

So today...I nipped out at lunchtime, in the pouring rain.

I passed a Borders on my way to buy shoes (I get paid tomorrow, was my shoe purchase justification). I tried to walk past Borders on my way back to the office. I failed.

So everyone, tremble in your shoes because I am afraid that it will be knitted bras and/or pants all round for Christmas this year! I am thinking that it could be a great orphan de-stasher?!

Trust me, I won't be knitting underwear for myself...

...not sure it would go with my new shoes (aside from anything else)!

I have the outfit and occasion lined up for this pair - the one night each year when I wear high heels, posh myself up (to surprise the people who usually see me without a scrap of make up) and socialise the night away!

Last year, I debuted a pair of 4" heels with a smart trouser outfit. Somehow (alcohol may have been the cause) I lost one of them on my way home (alone, just for the purposes of clarity).

Absolutely no idea: I retraced my steps the next day to no avail! What's worse is that for some obscure reason, I still have the other shoe.

So to the Prince Charming who may have picked up a stray shoe - if you are out there wondering who might fit that black leather and chrome buckle Faith shoe with a 4" heel...

...please may I have my shoe back?!

Roadkill!

Please don't say that I didn't warn you but here they are, images of the one and only dessicated cat produced at last weekend's Craft Show!

I would like to point out that this feline is now known cheerfully as Roadkill - even to E, its 5 year old creator.

Frankly, to reanimate or not to reanimate? This is the question!

Interestingly M's cats were unperturbed by the new arrival.

Apologies for blurry photos but I need to confess that I was almost on my knees chortling with mirth at this point!

Now personally, I think that the Eygptians had a slightly more elegant solution to the whole issue of Cat Representation (or Body Disposal, as you prefer)...

...mummification.

For those of you who quilt - isn't this wrapping reminiscent of an American traditional quilt block?

Note for E: happy to help you make a cat mummy, just a bit worried that your cats might not sit still long enough for us to get the bandages on!

Don't you just...

..hate it when this happens?!

Ignore the other errors in the button band (which came about as I changed my mind about a button hole about 3 times, putting one in, taking one out etc.) but I couldn't really let the even more obvious purling error go....rip!

Note to self: knitting or thinking through knitting when tired will lead to obvious errors - guaranteed.

The knitting pattern suggested that this knit was a weekend job - ho ho ho, my razor sharp knitting speed strikes again! I think that I have been knitting this during my daily commutes for almost 3 weeks now.

It is very lucky that I am knitting the 6-9 months size, as the gift recipient arrived safe and well almost two weeks ago...yes, I am behind - I know, I know! I am doing my best!

It is not the most photogenic knit in the world either...but here is a picture (albeit a bit fuzzy) to prove that I am actually working away in the background!

Sunday in the Sun...

The Great Big Plan last weekend was to head off to Wonderwool Wales - you know, just M, E and I, girls together on the open road, lured West by the attraction of yarn and the idea of meeting some of our favourite internet yarn sellers.

Well, that statement holds true for two of the travelling party. E is five.

While she does knit, I am not certain that she has reached the stage where she might travel miles to hunt and gather yarn. Clearly, in this - M and I are beyond help!

However, as with all good plans - it came unstuck at the last minute. Actually, I prefer to think that common sense prevailed over wool induced fever. Even if it was not until about 23:30 last Saturday evening. I peered at the route map - I rubbed my eyes and looked at it again. It hadn't changed:

Distance: 186 miles. Journey Time: 3.5 hours.

Hmmm. You see, I thought of Builth Wells as being just a little bit beyond where my mother used to live. That's no hassle: jump in the car, tank down to Wales - job done. In my head it was 2-2.5 hours. Somehow 3.5 hours is perilously close to 4 hours (with a short stop).

A day trip with 8 hours of travelling...on a motorway populated with Sunday drivers?


Cue emergency text correspondence:

G: How would you and E fancy a girly day trip to Brighton instead?!

M: How about the Henley Craft Fair?!

G: Done!

Now, while Craft Fairs might not be everyone's cup of tea, you have to hand it to those folks at Henley - they know their audience! It was set up well for families with all sorts of activities to keep children entertained while their parents shopped.

So instead of being cooped up in a car for 8 hours and then being hauled from stall to stall to look at yarn, E got to...

...make a cat...

...and make a crown with M!

Although both projects had merits - for me, the crown was the clear winner of the two. You see, by the time the cat had dried out in the sun (following its coating of brown tissue paper), it looked a little strange. I didn't dare comment but M did suggest quietly it looked a little like dried out roadkill...!

As for M and I, we window shopped and even though the closest I got to wool was this...

...somehow, M managed to find a stall with a small amount of Mango Moon recycled sari silk. So she came away stash happy!

I came away empty handed - mostly because I just couldn't persuade myself that I had money or space at home for this 5ft paper mache cockerel...

....a shame really.

It was ridiculous and yet, oddly magnificent!