Human or Fibre Machine?

Apparently there was something on TV recently about someone who was cultivating their belly button fluff to spin and knit into something? Now I missed this little gem of national tv programming but heck, if people are happy to collect, spin and knit up their favourite pet's hair, then why not use human lint too?

Warning: I suggest that you do not read on if you have just fallen off your chair, utterly revolted by this concept.

However, if you happen to think that it is safe to call into question the sexiness of your partner's knitting efforts and think that it is safe to leave said knitter unattended with her blog while you fly home on an aeroplane, please do read on...!

So, in the name of sustainable eco-fibre research for today's knitting community, I have been investigating the contents of the Fella's tummy button over the past two weeks. I have noted his unstinting and diligent ability to produce about an inch of fingering weight lint per day, in a variety of quite attractive whites, greys, blues and blacks. I find this oddly fascinating.

Yup, I have pictures of the output but I will save them - you know, just in case the sexiness of one of my knitting projects is called into question again? (Oh, am I going on?!)

So hmm. Let's think about this logically for a moment. There are 36 inches in a yard and it would take around 200 yards of yarn to make a nice pair of simple mitts, such as the Thank You Mitts?
Oh - unless my arithmetic is out, that is not good. Doesn't that mean it would take me 7200 days or 19.72 years to harvest sufficient Fella lint to make a pair of mittens? Let's round that up to 20 years to account for any fibre wastage during spinning.

It just seems like a lot of effort over time for a small project outcome. Especially when, a quick look on the net tells me that it is possible to pick up a skein of Pro Natura Zitron Trekking sock yarn for about £7.50. In my personal view and very limited experience of human lint colours, their range does seems to include certain shades that might be quite a close match?

So, almost regrettably, I hereby conclude that stashing human lint is not a worthwhile endeavour. (That is, unless someone starts up a Human Lint Cooperative. Where people who possess the astonishing ability to create belly button fluff sign up to make weekly lint deliveries?)

Personally, I think that someone would really have to be feeling very thrifty or love their partner a lot to collect their lint everyday, for 20 years, in order to make them a pair of mitts.

Mind you - a pair of handspun lint mitts would make a very novel and unique 20th Anniversary present from a knitter to their partner?

"Ohhh darling, thank you for the new china and this beautiful platinum ring. In return, I made these mittens just for you - from you - in celebration of the 20 marvelous years that we have spent together."

[Cue stunned silence and people studiously avoiding eye contact?!]

Hurrumph - my first ever socks, not sexy when worn in bed...? Pah! What'd'ya mean?!

Psst! Passion Crushing Socks!

Ok, I brought my girl her post alarm clock morning coffee today.

What can I say? I am a guy - it is included in my job description.

You know, I sort of hoped to find my lovely partner propped up in bed, bowled over with delight at the joint sight of me and the smell of coffee. Not quite – instead, I was greeted by this sight:

You know, this image did not quite match the one that went through my half asleep mind during the wait for the kettle to come to boil - I really was not thinking of this:

Or this:

So a very quiet tip from one knitter’s boyfriend - socks might be fun to make, they might be comfortable to wear but they are not necessarily a glorious sight first thing in the morning!

Signed B

(Gabrielle's Fella)

Home...but exhausted!

We are back from Wonderwool!

You know, 48 hours on (just as a stand helper) and I am still exhausted - in fact, I have spent the last two days at work wandering around work emulating a zombie!

My hat is firmly off to all those small businesses who do shows like this on a regular basis - good grief - you do this AND raise fibre animals, shear or clip them, create roving, spin, dye yarn, felt, knit and make spinning wheels?!

Okay, I will share my experience of Wonderwool, disclose what constitutes a Mid Wales gourmet mouthful (just for you Toni) and reveal the contents of these bags, as and when I can over the next few days!

However, please note that my deeply, very lovely Fella is still here and, as we live so far apart, I plan to enjoy every minute that I can with him until he gets back on a plane to Vancouver at the end of next weekend.

So please bear with me. I took lots of photos and will share as much as I can, when I can!

Not at Home to Visitors!

If things are a bit quiet on my blog for the next two weeks, it is because the Fella landed on Saturday for a business trip. Hurray!

Mind you, it's not all slushy, romantic stuff here in London because next weekend we are headed to Wonderwool Wales and Mid Wales Mouthful...

...the primary excuse is that I plan to help out my mother, Artisan Yarns, on her stall. (In truth, I hope to bury myself quietly in a mountain of yarn, taking timeouts only to sample the finest foods that Mid Wales has on offer!)

We plan to return from Wales with a quantity of good photos and stories for your virtual delectation and delight! Oh yes...

Nice Things for Others 2: Beads & Seven Dials, Covent Garden

There is a certain knitter who lives somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Last summer, this knitter created some lovely looking, lace handspun in a sunflowery colourway. Really, it is absolutely gorgeous - go see.

Now this year - between socks, bunnies, snowdrifts and the arrival of Spring - I have spotted snippets of blog evidence that this yarn has fought its way to the top of her stash and announced that it wants to become her entry for this year's State Fair shawl.

As it turns out, this handspun just as assertive as I perceive its maker to be. Right now, they are working out the details of the shawl design between them. To me, this makes really interesting reading as it is looking to be a very honest discussion between both parties about aspirations, ideas about the design and what will show the yarn off to its best advantage - from what I have seen so far, neither knitter or yarn are prepared to settle for what doesn't feel right. Well, after all, we are talking State Fair here - it's got to be right. Right?


For one, I will be really interested to see what final design they will come up with between them...

...partly because I nipped out from the office recently to pick up some beads for them from the Seven Dials, Covent Garden area of London. Y'know - just to see if that will help by adding a new element to the sunflower shawl design debate.

Here are some snaps that I took this week when I went for a lunchtime stroll around Seven Dials*. This is just as context for the package that making its way across the Atlantic, so that KnitterBunny can get a feel about my part of the world and where her beads were sourced.

I have also included some photo of beads in this set. Just so you can see the selection I picked out and trialled to assist with long distance, decision making. Plus rule out any beads that would not work with a crochet hook. It was a fun thing to do and I hope that my package turns out to be useful!

Notes

* Currently this slideshow only contains pictures of two of the three bead shops that are a stone's throw from my office. Half of the pictures that I took on my walk seem to have vanished from my camera - I will correct that next week but I wanted to post this now, because I know that the arrival of the package is imminent!

Nice Things for Others 1: Egypt & the British Museum

When I was in Vancouver in February, the fella and I managed to catch up with Rabbitch for a coffee. Now along for the ride was a certain daughter - who just happens to be one very bright, switched on individual. She was also terribly patient with us incredibly boring adults.

As this specific daughter had just studied Egyptian Mummies at school, I promised that I would pop into the British Museum (it's not far from my office) and take some photos of their exhibits for her.

Being so disorganised, this did not happen until Easter when Fella and Son were over. After a further mix-up at ORK HQ, I have just heard that a little package has arrived in Vancouver and is on its way via local post to its final destination.

So to cut a long story short - to go with that package, and for anyone else who is curious about the British Museum, please click here for a slideshow of some of its Egyptian exhibits*.

* * * * *

* Notes: I need to tell you that I have to be prodded with a sharp stick to make me go into the Egyptian rooms at the British Museum, as they completely and utterly freak me out. I think that it's the atmosphere and proximity to the dead.

I cannot help it, I understand that it is educational but in my view, no matter how ancient, the dead should be allowed to rest in peace, in accordance with their funeral rituals and beliefs that resulted in them being embalmed, wrapped, placed in decorated coffins (not the word, I know) and entombed. Therefore, while there are a few images of bandaged bodies in my slide show, I have tried to keep them to a minimum.

Perhaps it is just that I do not like the idea of my body being on display in a glass case a few 1000 years from now, just because someone decided to dispose of me in an interesting, 'of the period' coffin.

Mind you, I guess that is not very likely as I plan to be cremated. I appreciate that this is not carbon footprint friendly, but how else can my remains be stuffed into a series of very large firework rockets, to be blasted colourfully into the air while my friends and family celebrate with fizz and nibbles before gently brushing me off their shoulders and heading home?!

One Sock Forward, One Sock Back

I finished my socks on my way home last night - astonishing but true. It's only taken two months. I cast on for them on 18th February and yesterday was the 15th April. In the time that I have been working on these socks, Knitter Bunny has completed 8 pairs of socks (at least).

I wore my red socks triumphantly around the house (trailing the length of yarn and needle on the end of my kitchner stitched toe)...

...for about 10 minutes. Then I was obliged to take them off as they were itching and irritating my feet horribly.

I don't know - the Koigu seemed soft enough against my hands while I was knitting it. Clearly my feet are more sensitive. Who knew that I was such a delicate flower?!

So I sat on the edge of my bed. I looked at the socks that I have spent two months knitting, I looked at my pale and pasty feet and then I looked at the socks again. I found myself wondering if it is possible to get silk or cotton inners for woollen socks, so I could wear them out.

(Oh, that would be me wondering whether I can wear cotton or silk socks underneath my woollen ones, then?! Hmm, it just doesn't get that cold in London and I doubt that I'd ever get my feet into my shoes afterwards.)

So I flopped them down on the side, with a sigh of, 'Oh well, that was a complete waste of two months effort then - great.'

I went to bed. At some point, I'll dunk them in Soak and see if that solves the problem/softens the fibres up a little. Failing that, I'll frame the damned things.

Pictures once they have been soaked!

Set Them Free - Yarn Destash!

Edited to update what yarn has gone.

Last week, I mentioned feeling cluttered by yarn purchases that I am no longer sure that I will use. Some were impulse buys and others were bought for projects that have not come to fruition. Either way, I cannot see an immediate use for the yarn and it is languishing untouched in my stash.

So yesterday, I went through my craft cupboard, my yarn basket and my three yarn drawers. Folks, I have set aside some yarn to destash. Scary - I have never done this before.

I have added these yarns to my Ravelry stash, marked them as available for Sale or Trade and indicated what I paid for them. This way, I am hoping that if someone happens to want any of it, they can contact me and let me know how much they are willing to offer. At least that is how I hope it works.

In summary, the yarns are:

· 10 balls of Rowan Ribbon Twist (black and pink) · 2 skeins of Posh Yarn, 4ply Sophia Cashmere (Terracotta)

· 2 cone wound skeins (still need to weigh these) of Hipknits Laceweight Silk (Pink) Gone!

· 14 balls of Rowan Big Wool (mauve) Gone!

· 3 skeins of Wagtail Mohair-Merino 8Ply (Medium Violet) Gone! · 3 skeins of Wagtail Pure Mohair 4Ply (Mulberry) Gone! · 2 yarn cakes (50g each, I think) of Hipknits Aran Silk (Pink, Red and Purple) Gone! · 2 skeins of Evolution Sport Weight (Figgy Pudding) Gone!

The proceeds from the Hipknits yarns will go to charity. Either to a UK charity that I support (see right), Knitters Without Borders or The House That Yarn Built. I am happy for the person who buys the yarn to choose which of these good causes gets the money.

Let me know in a comment if you are interested in any of this yarn, otherwise message me on Ravelry! You can find the statistics, description of each yarn in my Ravelry Stash.

Opps - time for me to mind my Ps and Qs?!

Yesterday, my mother added me as a friend on Ravelry....

...followed by...

[GULP] ...um, hello mum!

Okay everyone - please make my mother welcome here and on Ravelry and um, please, if I am misbehaving ever...for goodness sake...

...do not draw it to the attention of Hereford's very own yarnartisanne.

Now, just to round off this post. Here is the transcript of a sneaky text that I sent to the Fella yesterday afternoon, during a 3.5 technical and vampire (i.e life force sucking) meeting:

"B - Have you ever been stuck in a hot, close meeting room for over 3hrs with 20 attendees, desperate to break wind to the point where bowels bubble audibly and you sit, buttocks clenched, for fear of an unfortunate escape of noxious gases that would have the impact of a Jurassic Fart? Pity me x"

The Jurassic Fart of which I spoke? For your delectation and delight:





Luckily, when Fella woke up, read this and spoke to me (knowing the reference), he chuckled (importantly) and said, 'You do make me laugh, honey.' (Phew.)

Opps, welcome to my blog, mum :-)

* * *

Notes: just in case - Ps and Qs

Easy to see how you might get sucked in

Really, this is a final Scrabble post for Robynn and Granny Purple but it does give a little sockage too. See left for proof!

The Scrabble dictionary is not given to lengthy definitions. However, the word 'jol' is described as a party or to have a good time. This is not to be confused with a similiar word, 'joll' which means to knock - so Robynn, your memories of its usage are spot on!

GP, we limited references to the Scrabble dictionary over Easter. However, some words it permits did cause us to raise our eyebrows. Now, we think that three separate English dictionaries should be sourced and used. Each dictionary should be an editon printed within 2-4 years (either way) of each player's year of birth. We thought that we should draw lots to see which dictionary each player receives as a reference / handicap (depending on your view of whether or not the English language has expanded over the past 50 years).

At that point, I have to tell you that Fella and I looked at each other, decided that our desire to beat Son had gone too far and that we were taking-the-game-far-too-seriously*!

Well, at least as seriously as I am taking this bloomin' sock. Far - t-o-o - seriously! Good grief, will it never end?!

I think that I may have, at last, reached the toes decrease point.

The good news for me (I think) is that the heel seems to fit. Mind you, I thought that when I tried the 1st sock on and I only discovered that it didn't work once I'd finished the entire sock.

No, not ripping back. Isn't the whole point of a first pair of socks that they do not, or should not fit?! I am just feeling very grateful that the gauge gremlin has chosen to pass over this project.

Oh. That just means that it will strike on another project when there is more invested in its outcome...?

* * * * *

Notes:

*Serious Scrabble: it turns out that taking a game too seriously is a relative thing. After Easter, my colleagues were asking me how my Easter Scrabble tournament had gone when suddenly, one of them produced a folded list of words from his wallet. He dangled it from his hand. It was a list of unusual two and three letter words possible in Scrabble. It seems that he gives himself lists of words to commit to memory during his commutes to work?

Now that is dedication. A clear example of someone taking a board game very seriously - if not far too seriously? Oddly, my opinion of this colleague suddenly changed. I now find that I have a new respect for him that did not exist before. However, you would be fairly safe to bet your very own backside that I'm far too chicken to challenge him to a game of Scrabble. He would mince my paltry wordage to pulp!

Other Words: ruga - wrinkle, fold or crease; zo - bovine, a yak and common cattle cross; qi - chi